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"I am my Beloved's and He is Mine"

 When I see something interesting I put it on hold, and often I do it without much thought, so that when I go to get the book I can't even remember why I was prompted to choose that particular title.

Today I walked into the library and, for whatever reason, noticed how perfectly aligned all of those precious titles were.....each one with a slip of paper sticking out, waiting to be claimed by members of my community who are likewise obsessed.

A wave of joy swept over me, and I realized this sight may be my very favorite in the whole universe....books waiting to be inhaled!

So, I marched up to claim my book, and realized it was THE book.  THE book I had reserved two seasons ago.  THE book that I already loved without yet cracking the cover.

And on THE day I was headed out of town for my first UN-Mommy-Mommy-Mommy weekend in 3 years. What timing!  

This is a gift that I now hold in my hands.  

A gift from my Beloved.  

Who knows me.  Knows what thrills my heart.

And the best part of this gift is that I did nothing to manipulate it into existence - it was His idea.

And it does not expand the Kingdom...It doesn't bless my family...It doesn't enrich my marriage....all things that I ask for from my Heavenly Father...and all things I am thankful for.

But this gift is Just.    For.    Me.  

It has my name on it!  It comes at the perfect time when I can enjoy it most.  And it is just because He loves me, and not to further His own agenda.

Because I am His beloved and He is a Gift Giver.

The Balancing Act: Healthy Dinners in my Home - Let's Get a Few Things Straight!

You know the Duggars, right?  That amazing family of 22 who live in harmony and orderliness?

Yeah.  That's not me.

I once had an acquaintance remark: "Oh, I love large families!  They are so organized!!"

I was too stunned to snort my drink out of my nose, so I think I just made a choking sound. But this statement deserved a hearty guffaw.  I should have been literally rolling on the ground with laughter, and then picking daisies out of my hair.

I have tried hard to learn...but it just hasn't happened.

You know how Rachel Ray floats around her kitchen making jokes, sharing recipes, making OOH and AHH noises as well as incredible dishes...and absolutely NO mess.

Yeah.  That's not me either.

I know it can be done.  I've seen it in real life.

I have an amazing friend named Robin who would invite our family over to her home almost every Friday night.  She would likewise float around the kitchen...preparing both dinner AND dessert, telling stories AND doing dishes at the same time.  

A dirty utensil never touches her counter....She loads the dishwasher as she is cooking.

I would watch carefully, taking detailed notes....

Open the can

Put can opener away

Dump can in skillet with spatula

Put can in trash, wiping the trash can clean

Open dishwasher and drop spatula inside

Adjust temp for the stove

Measure powdered sugar into Kitchenaid food processor

Hit pulse

Open dishwasher and drop measuring cup inside.

Realize powdered sugar container is dirty.

Start rinsing it out while telling an entertaining story.

Laugh riotously while drying the canister and refilling it with another package of powdered sugar.

(She already has a new package? How did she know she needed a new package?)

(Her scissor were right where she looked for them the first time.  This place is so strange)

Put the sparkling canister back in the cabinet while giving gentle instructions to the toddler underfoot.

Stir the main dish (open dishwasher, close dishwasher).....Boil more water for veggies.....Laugh riotously at the joke she just told....Turn on the oven for dessert....

By this time I've run out of paper.

She would deliver a perfectly cooked, still hot, attractive and healthy, totally delicious meal to the table.  And the kitchen behind her was spotless.  Like a maid had spent an hour in there.  Every. Single. Time.

No open cans.  No spilled liquids on the range.  No powdered sugar in her hair.  No tomato sauce on the ceiling.  

It was like a magical Mr. Clean vortex.

I know it was a vortex, because I tried to replicate this dance in my kitchen.  

This is the part where you snort your drink out of your nose.

It just ain't happenin.'

I'm not a very good cook.

And my timing is perfectly awful.  

My cooking is mushy or undercooked, burnt or stuck to the pan. 

And my kitchen is not Rachel Ray's or Robin's.

More along the lines of... Elmo?  The Guy on Dirty Jobs?  Mr. Wizard during the volcano episode?

So, why in the world am I starting a series about How I Feed my Family?

Well, it's mostly because I have put a whole lot of thought into making a menu, preparing a shopping list, learning about nutrition, and putting meals in front of very discerning and vocal young palates. 

I have scoured the internet for ways to feed my family tasty food despite myself.  

I have tried every trick to fool my husband into eating something green.

And I've tried to reduce the grocery budget in every way possible.  (Except canning.  See above.)

And every once-in-a-while a friend will ask me to share what works in my family.....and so I end up sending them 47 links and last week's shopping list and she starts to look like a deer in headlights.

So, here is my attempt to put all of those years of research and burning things in one spot, so that this disorganized Mama can answer that question without scaring away any more friends!

(This is not my picture. Note how clean it looks.  Clean enough to eat off of.)

Caleb visits his first playground

My Bible verse for 2014

I was really tempted yesterday to skip church.  

I wasn't sick, I wasn't tired. I think part of it had to do with those few extra pounds of Christmas pudding squeezing me out of my church clothes. 

But, I went to church.  And I am so glad I did.  

The very first song was 

"Today is the day You have made

I will rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24

http://open.spotify.com/track/3lMabAXl4LmSpDfD9ptBGl

Not a very complicated verse. In fact, it may be the very first Bible verse I ever learned as we sang on the way to church during my childhood.

But The Lord spoke to my heart.

THIS is my verse for the year.  THIS is my year for living every day to the fullest.

And boy do I need it!    

According to my rough calculations,

I was pregnant for 9 months of 2010

                                    7 months of 2011

                                          6 months of 2012

                                                   and

                                                5 months of 2013.

And, although I don't have dangerous pregnancies with medical complications...

I do sorta feel like crud. I have felt like crud for 27 of the last 48 months.  

And because I already have a family to run during these pregnancies, here is what that looks like:

*When I have free time, I'm likely to use it reading a book or sleeping or watching a show - very low energy activities. Because energy is a precious resource, hoarded for important things like cooking dinner and doing laundry, not frivilous showers and grooming. Not cleaning the ceiling fan. Not smiling.

*I don't read to my children...because I might throw up on them.

*When friends invite me to do something I answer "Oh!  That sounds wonderful!  Maybe next time!"

*I don't invite anyone to my house ever, because while I might have lots of energy at the time I invite them, the likelihood of me being able to clean the house or go grocery shopping for the company is pretty low.

And the end result of all of this putting off and ignoring things that need to be done and storing up energy is that my natural bent toward procrastination is magnified.  

Also, during pregnancy, while I feel like crud, I become a stoic.  Nothing bothers me.   Threw up 12 times today...no big deal.  Peed in my pants...no big deal.  Haven't had a good night's sleep in 5 years...no big deal.  

But in doing that, I also lock down all other emotions.  Found a good deal on berries...no big deal.  Had a baby...no big deal.  Heard a funny joke...no big deal.  Family flew into town to see me...no big deal.  

In an effort to keep the world from turning red with frustration and anger at my own limitations , I have actually turned it grey and depressing.  No color. No fun. No laughter. No excitement. No anticipation.  

SO.

As far as I know, there will be ZERO months of pregnancy in 2014.  

And this year I am going to enjoy who I am, where I am, and who I am with TODAY.

Things I'm NOT going to say:

"We'll do that after Glory is potty-trained"

"I'll enjoy doing that after I lose 10 pounds"

"I'm going to buy new clothes once...(insert unreasonable goal)"

"Yes, I'm planning on doing that"

Things I am going to do:

Play loud music.  Because I love loud music, and I haven't played music really loud since....high school?

And when it is playing I'm going to dance.  Because I love to dance, and my children don't know that about me.

Exercise ALOT.  Because I LOVE exercising.  I really love it.  I feel amazing when everything hurts.  I'm going to blame this on 10 years of ballet classes. But it's really about doing something JUST because I love it, and not for any other reason.

And I'm going to drink coffee with cream.  No matter what Dr. Fuhrman says. So there.

Today.

That's my word for the year.

Because this is the Day.

(I'm going to take lots of pictures, too.)

  Because...

THIS.

Did you pay your plumbing bill???

I'm sure you are dying to know!

As you recall, we have been in a 90 Day Challenge from our church to give 10% of our income faithfully  for 90 Days.  

It was crazy hard, but we were making it (by God's grace), but during this time we had a plumbing issue which put $350 on the credit card.  So over the last 2 weeks I have been praying and looking for a $350 check in the mail.

It never came. 

The 90 Days ended and there was no check.

In church this week I kept praying.  "Lord, the 90 Day are over.  It's been wonderful.  But, You know, there's this $350 bill that didn't get paid."

....and then The Lord reminded me that I could pay it!

You see, when I did my budget for this last paycheck, it was just unworkable. We needed to pay rent as well as several drafts coming out of our bank account.  It just would not work.  Then Brian reminded me that his next paycheck is coming on January 2nd. We normally pay rent on the 1st, but we called our landlords and they said the 2nd would be fine.

WooHoo!!  So, now we had money to use!  I covered the shortfall then moved the majority of it over to our savings, which has been depleted during the 90 Days.  And there it was, just sitting there until The Lord reminded me that it could be used to pay the plumber.  Yes!!  God is Faithful!

So, after 90 Days of Giving by Faith...

- our savings is about the same as before

- our debt is lower than before due to regular payments

- God provided for all unusual expenses incurred during this time

- I budgeted 800% more carefully than I ever have, for 8 straight pay periods, never getting lazy.

- I was able to earn money during this 90 Days that I used to pay for Christmas.  That's right...we paid for Christmas this year in December of this year.  This is new for us.

- We won a $300 getaway at Brian's office Christmas Party.  And we are going to LOVE it!!

         (shoutout to my amazing family who are watching our 7 less-than-docile children!)

-Brian and I had several very difficult but wonderful budgeting discussions, and for the first time..ever? we have a 5 year plan of what we hope to accomplish with our finances. 

   It even includes vacations and pre planned fun. What??  (This is Brian's contribution to the budget! ...Oh, and he also contributes everything on the "Income" line.)

-And Finally, our church and the Kingdom are our 10% richer....

            And so is our faith!