My Bible verse for 2014

I was really tempted yesterday to skip church.  

I wasn't sick, I wasn't tired. I think part of it had to do with those few extra pounds of Christmas pudding squeezing me out of my church clothes. 

But, I went to church.  And I am so glad I did.  

The very first song was 

"Today is the day You have made

I will rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24

http://open.spotify.com/track/3lMabAXl4LmSpDfD9ptBGl

Not a very complicated verse. In fact, it may be the very first Bible verse I ever learned as we sang on the way to church during my childhood.

But The Lord spoke to my heart.

THIS is my verse for the year.  THIS is my year for living every day to the fullest.

And boy do I need it!    

According to my rough calculations,

I was pregnant for 9 months of 2010

                                    7 months of 2011

                                          6 months of 2012

                                                   and

                                                5 months of 2013.

And, although I don't have dangerous pregnancies with medical complications...

I do sorta feel like crud. I have felt like crud for 27 of the last 48 months.  

And because I already have a family to run during these pregnancies, here is what that looks like:

*When I have free time, I'm likely to use it reading a book or sleeping or watching a show - very low energy activities. Because energy is a precious resource, hoarded for important things like cooking dinner and doing laundry, not frivilous showers and grooming. Not cleaning the ceiling fan. Not smiling.

*I don't read to my children...because I might throw up on them.

*When friends invite me to do something I answer "Oh!  That sounds wonderful!  Maybe next time!"

*I don't invite anyone to my house ever, because while I might have lots of energy at the time I invite them, the likelihood of me being able to clean the house or go grocery shopping for the company is pretty low.

And the end result of all of this putting off and ignoring things that need to be done and storing up energy is that my natural bent toward procrastination is magnified.  

Also, during pregnancy, while I feel like crud, I become a stoic.  Nothing bothers me.   Threw up 12 times today...no big deal.  Peed in my pants...no big deal.  Haven't had a good night's sleep in 5 years...no big deal.  

But in doing that, I also lock down all other emotions.  Found a good deal on berries...no big deal.  Had a baby...no big deal.  Heard a funny joke...no big deal.  Family flew into town to see me...no big deal.  

In an effort to keep the world from turning red with frustration and anger at my own limitations , I have actually turned it grey and depressing.  No color. No fun. No laughter. No excitement. No anticipation.  

SO.

As far as I know, there will be ZERO months of pregnancy in 2014.  

And this year I am going to enjoy who I am, where I am, and who I am with TODAY.

Things I'm NOT going to say:

"We'll do that after Glory is potty-trained"

"I'll enjoy doing that after I lose 10 pounds"

"I'm going to buy new clothes once...(insert unreasonable goal)"

"Yes, I'm planning on doing that"

Things I am going to do:

Play loud music.  Because I love loud music, and I haven't played music really loud since....high school?

And when it is playing I'm going to dance.  Because I love to dance, and my children don't know that about me.

Exercise ALOT.  Because I LOVE exercising.  I really love it.  I feel amazing when everything hurts.  I'm going to blame this on 10 years of ballet classes. But it's really about doing something JUST because I love it, and not for any other reason.

And I'm going to drink coffee with cream.  No matter what Dr. Fuhrman says. So there.

Today.

That's my word for the year.

Because this is the Day.

(I'm going to take lots of pictures, too.)

  Because...

THIS.

Did you pay your plumbing bill???

I'm sure you are dying to know!

As you recall, we have been in a 90 Day Challenge from our church to give 10% of our income faithfully  for 90 Days.  

It was crazy hard, but we were making it (by God's grace), but during this time we had a plumbing issue which put $350 on the credit card.  So over the last 2 weeks I have been praying and looking for a $350 check in the mail.

It never came. 

The 90 Days ended and there was no check.

In church this week I kept praying.  "Lord, the 90 Day are over.  It's been wonderful.  But, You know, there's this $350 bill that didn't get paid."

....and then The Lord reminded me that I could pay it!

You see, when I did my budget for this last paycheck, it was just unworkable. We needed to pay rent as well as several drafts coming out of our bank account.  It just would not work.  Then Brian reminded me that his next paycheck is coming on January 2nd. We normally pay rent on the 1st, but we called our landlords and they said the 2nd would be fine.

WooHoo!!  So, now we had money to use!  I covered the shortfall then moved the majority of it over to our savings, which has been depleted during the 90 Days.  And there it was, just sitting there until The Lord reminded me that it could be used to pay the plumber.  Yes!!  God is Faithful!

So, after 90 Days of Giving by Faith...

- our savings is about the same as before

- our debt is lower than before due to regular payments

- God provided for all unusual expenses incurred during this time

- I budgeted 800% more carefully than I ever have, for 8 straight pay periods, never getting lazy.

- I was able to earn money during this 90 Days that I used to pay for Christmas.  That's right...we paid for Christmas this year in December of this year.  This is new for us.

- We won a $300 getaway at Brian's office Christmas Party.  And we are going to LOVE it!!

         (shoutout to my amazing family who are watching our 7 less-than-docile children!)

-Brian and I had several very difficult but wonderful budgeting discussions, and for the first time..ever? we have a 5 year plan of what we hope to accomplish with our finances. 

   It even includes vacations and pre planned fun. What??  (This is Brian's contribution to the budget! ...Oh, and he also contributes everything on the "Income" line.)

-And Finally, our church and the Kingdom are our 10% richer....

            And so is our faith!

Pressed down, Shaken together, and Running over

About 75 days ago our church gave a bold challenge to the congregation:  

For the next 90 days can you live on 90% of your income, giving 10% to the church and trusting God to provide and sustain you?

Well, with my accounting degree and my husband's math degree we had already constructed a well-thought-out budget that allows us to live comfortably on 110% of my husband's income. LOL! 

Household finances have always been a struggle for us.  But in the last 6 months they have gotten even harder.  

I quit my job in March to stay at home with my 3 preschoolers...Our rent increased $250 in July...I need to buy some "affordable" health care by the end of the year.  So even before the church issued this challenge we were already praying desperately about our finances.  God had promised to meet the needs of our family, but we weren't seeing it yet.

So, Brian and I looked at each other in church that morning and said "Well, why not?"  

Now there's all sorts of tithing verses people quote, but my favorite is:

 Give, and it will come back to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. Luke 6:38

So, as we wrote that first 10% check this was echoing through my mind. "Give, and it will come back to you.  Give and it will come back to you."

"Lord, if I give you this measly, paltry 10%, do You think You could find a way to please give it back?  We really need it."  This was the size of my faith.    

So here we are at Day 75.  It has felt like holding your breath for 75 days. The kids have been standing at the fridge or pantry asking "What can I eat?" and I go join them and I can't come up with anything.  Well, let's see...we have mustard.  Or split peas.  Look, Logan! Tofu!  I don't even cheerily say "But Daddy's getting paid on Thursday!" the way I used to, because there is no money in that paycheck allocated toward food.

But here we are after 75 days.  We have had 3 meals a day, we have found apples on sale, we have eaten a hearty Thanksgiving and come home with leftovers.  But we are $350 in the hole because of a plumbing problem that went onto the credit card. I don't know where it is going to come from, but I heartily believe God will pay that bill before the 90 Day Challenge ends.  See, my faith is growing!

But then yesterday my beautiful, brilliant 12 year old comes home with a paper.  "Look Mom!  It's for paying for college!  I decided I want to be a Math Teacher!" 

 My heart sank.   

You see, despite the best of intentions, there are not 7 little college savings accounts growing at 12% a year. And as one sweet grandbaby has blossomed into 12 and simultaneously the stock market and economy have tanked, my trust in the Grandpa Joe Scholarship has faltered.   So, over the last several years, when Mackenzie mentioned her desired profession, or asked how we could pay for college, my somewhat glib, and not very honest answer was: 

"Well, we're just gonna have to pray about it."

And inside I felt fear, and sadness, and failure.  

And now here she is, only 6 years away from college, joyfully sharing her new desire to be a teacher, and flapping this paper in my face - what I was sure was another Guaranteed Education Thrift Plan...if we just pay $300 a month for 18 years she'll be good to go!  

She carefully placed the paper in front of me.  And when I didn't look at it she wisely moved it to her backpack lest a toddler spill food on it.  She asked me if I had signed it at least 3 times before bed.  Each time the fear filled my heart.  

...She's never going to go to college, even if she really want to.

....She's going to end up saddled with debt the same way we are.

... I'd better start talking to her about how all single, rich men are in want of a wife.

And then I finally got around to looking at the paper.  And then I read it again.  And then I went online and read it again.  Because what it is saying cannot possibly be true.

It seems that Washington State wants to keep their beautiful, brilliant 7th graders from leaving for California or New York upon graduation....

....so they provide FULL tuition and a book allowance for all middle schoolers who fall into the (low) income requirements once they graduate, as long as they don't become felons or leave to go to an out-of-state school.

FULL.  

TEARS.

INCREDULOUS JOY.

I put my accounting degree to work.  $15,000 per year x 4 years x 7 kids.   That's $420,000.

I gave God 10% of (low) income and a teensy weensy bit of faith

...and He gave back $420,000.

Pressed down, Shaken together, and Running over, will be poured into your lap.

....I'll keep you updated on the $350 plumbing bill!